It’s Easter…

Something that has always seemed to bother me about Easter is the whole, “Easter Bunny” thing. People have changed Easter from remembering that Christ rose from the grave to a childish candy and rabbits holiday.

Which is what they did to Christmas. I mean, c’mon his name is even in the holiday name! But… People make that holiday ALL about giving material gifts and making children happy. Again, forgetting we celebrate the birth of Jesus.

It’s just one of those things that irritates me. At least we celebrate Thanksgiving for what it really is… a time to give thanks and be with family and friends.. I think somehow it will get twisted into an obligitory gift giving holiday.. :-

Try and remember that He has Risen! When Jesus said, “You can destroy this temple and I will raise it again in 3 days” he wasn’t talking about a building. Our bodies are Temples of Christ.

The day Mom died.

12 years ago today my mom died. It was one of those moments you don’t want to believe is happening.. I fell asleep the night before upset at my mom because she had nudged me and I hurt my leg on something behind me, I had gotten mad at her and crawled into bed. The next morning she was still in bed when I left for school. Little did I know she was already dead.

My brother left the house about an hour after I did as he was in elementary school and i was in middle school, My dad always woke up my mom so my brother could give her a good morning hug and kiss before he left for school. That was when my dad found her cold, lifeless body. It had appeared she died several hours earlier. Possibly shortly after she had fallen sleep. The biggest problem that she had was her addiction to sleeping pills, at the time she died there were 3 different kinds of sleeping medications in her system. Even if she could wake up during the heart attack and let someone know she was having one, the amount of medication in her system would have prevented her from even opening an eye. She had basically tied her own noose.

It was a Thursday, When I got home from school I could tell something wasn’t right. Everybody was over at our place. Cars lined the street. As I got off the bus I noticed my Dad and brother walking towards me, My dad had just finished the paper route…. Can you imagine after what he had just seen going and doing a paper route?. My Dad told me what had happened and I immediately went into shock mode. I could tell it hadn’t really hit my brother yet as to what happened, he was standing on the corner half smiling and half crying. My guess is that he was going off the emotion he had seen from everyone else… I am not sure if at that point he understood what death was.

I remember walking in the door of the duplex and seeing everyone there. My grandparents, aunts and uncles. My grandmothers were in cleaning mode.. I remember walking in and seeing both of them dart their head out of the kitchen and start weeping at the sight of me looking completely overcome and shocked. They insisted I sit down and cry it out, or as they said, “Shhh. It’s okay. Let it out” and boy did I ever… I think I must have cried for a few hours. I remember not being able to think clearly at all and the only thing I could remember was being mad at her the night before.. That would weigh on me for a long time.

Right after I had gone into the duplex and was told what happened and cried, I couldn’t sit there in the constant sulking and weeping of everyone, it was one of those awkward moments you wish never to be part of, everyone saying how great she was and how nice she was. I couldn’t stand to hear any of it, in my own way trying to ignore it had happened.

It would be awhile before I could really focus and have a clear conversation with anyone. I left the duplex and walked next door to my neighbors house, whom I had known since I was 2. She was water some plants in her yard when she saw me, she dropped the hose and came right to me and held me. Her boyfriend came out and embraced me as well. Him and I sat on the porch of their house and talked about life and death. He really helped me understand what was going on, and that when God calls up your number, your job here is done.

The rest of that day isn’t clear to me, I am unsure of what really happened after that point… it all turns into a mess in my head. The next thing I remember is the day leading up to the the funeral. She had died on a Thursday and she was buried on the following Tuesday. I don’t remember where i was but my Dad and brother had picked out her coffin. As they put it, “Something Elvis would have been buried in” which it was. We had a grave side service, I have no way of remembering how many people were actually there.. I do remember quite the crowd though. My Dad and brother made their way around to most people saying, “hello”. I really think I must have been a zombie at that point, just aimlessly moving around as people came up to me and gave their piece about my mom, none of which I remembered as I was in shock over the whole thing.

Everything around that day, the hours before and after and even the days are a complete blur. I don’t remember anything I did. I think I took the remainder of the week off from school. I do remember that week being one of the strangest weeks. My Dad pretty much locked himself in his room, only coming out to make food and get coffee. My brother and I just sat around.

12 years. I can’t believe how time flies! This September my mom would have been 52. She died at the young age of 39.

If I had not gone through that, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Thanks for reading.


Good Friday.

Today, 2000 years ago Jesus was illegally tried, beaten beyond recognition, betrayed by his followers and hung on a cross for the sins of the world. He died so we would not have to. He came to destroy religion. For us!

"Jesus Christ was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised from the dead to make us right with God. Romans 4:25 "

Office Coffee.

I’ve worked in several office environments and seen several kinds of coffee, Everything from starbucks pre-ground coffee to the cheapest crap they could find. All of which didn’t taste good. They all have the same kinds of creamer "Vanilla" and "Hazelnut" either powder or the never goes bad "goop" that you pump into your cup. I don’t understand why people drink this crap. To make office coffee drinkable you have to add lots of sugar and creamer, at which point you can’t even taste the coffee… you might as well just drink sugared milk!

I found the perfect creamer that makes this office coffee drinkable. Vanilla Caramel. It hides that "blech" taste that the office coffee has and it give it a bit of a sugar kick with the caramel 🙂

I am happy this morning 🙂

Healthier Eating….

My wife and I are in the process of trying to eat better and get healthier, we have both agreed that we are unhealthy and need to change. So, I have started eating smaller more frequent meals. Breakfast wasn’t as large as I normally eat, I usually pile a bunch of stuff together to make breakfast but today I put 2 servings of hash browns 1 serving of sausage and 2 eggs together to make breakfast along with 1 piece of toast.

For my snacks I have 2 hard-boiled eggs for my morning snack (2 hours after breakfast and then I have 2 for my afternoon snack (2 hours after lunch) Speaking of lunch… I have a bowl of salad with 1/4 of a cup of dressing on the side, a bologna sandwich and an apple.

Day 1… not too bad.

Insomnia… What a bitch it is…

Something I don’t understand is when I am awake mid-day and going about my usual things and I start to get really tired and then it passes after a few minutes and i’m fine. Then later in the evening when I actually want to sleep…. I can’t. So.. I’m stuck taking Tylenol PM to induce sleep, I used to be able to fall asleep super easy. Back in my LAN days I could stay up for days playing video games and then sleep it all off and be fine in 8 hours, now here I am stuck trying to convince my body it should fall asleep. I feel like i’m trying to fool my body into doing something unnatural like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. or jumping off a bridge with a giant rubber band strapped to my ankles.. *sigh* I just wish that when I looked at the clock and realized it’s about time I go to sleep that my body would respond, not have me laying in bed staring up at the ceiling wide awake.

*shakes my fist* Damn you body! You will do as I wish.. even if I have to medicate the crap out of you.. you are going to sleep tonight.

blah blah. See you on the other side.

So.. Merval.Org

So I re-launched the other day and I really don’t know what I want to do with it.. I did not own the domain for several years as some guy bought it up the moment I allowed it to expire, I didn’t have the money to renew it. When I did enough money to renew the domain I contacted the guy who bought it (or a secretary of the guy.. it was weird) . He was asking me for 500 dollars to buy the domain back. Had I REALLY generated that much buzz in the prior 3 years I owned the domain? hardly. I think I had something like 200 – 400 unique hits a month. Which isn’t anything to write home about.

My other domain, gets somewhere in the range of 500~ a month. I don’t know what this guy was thinking trying to sell me a domain I owned for 500 dollars, maybe he saw something in the domain I didn’t? I know there is a company overseas called Merval and they own… wow nevermind, I just checked and they don’t own the domain anymore. Godaddy is auctioning the domain off for $100 dollars.. It expires in June. I wonder how many have bid on it… *looking* hah 0 people. It has been viewed by 5 people. The domain should have some importance since ( it is a stock exchange in Buenos Aire ( …. Not too sure why they let that domain expire.. I’m going to keep my eye on that and see if anyone bids.

Back to Merval.Org. I’m having a hard time finding what I want to do with it. I don’t blog that often and when I actually blog I do it here (livejournal). I will sit here and drink my coffee and ponder the thought.

Thanks for reading!